A New Cycle Put On Hold.. Waiting Game, Here We Go Again!

I think it's official that my 2nd IUI was not successful, since the last glimmer of hope has already sunk with the steady flow of non-stopping blood. After I had pulled all the misery I am feeling currently into a corner of my brain, I called LPPKN past 2.30 pm as usual (because they will not give you an appointment if you call before the assigned time). The nurse told me that she will call me back to confirm my appointment and so I waited. After about 30 minutes later, she did call me back but to bring bad news that the doctor's appointment is already full for tomorrow, so I have to wait for another month to see my doctor. That means, I have to wait for another AF cycle then I will only be able to call LPPKN to get an appointment, but that is also subject to the clinic's availability for that month. Now, do you still wonder why I get so stressful and depressed about this whole infertility business? It seems like the waiting game gets to be played more than the actual treatment itself. Anyway, I am currently walking around with gloomy cloud over my head and have no desire to interact with the people around me for the time being. I just want to be left alone, not go to work and just stay in bed.. Woe becomes me.. ( T T )

17 days past IUI..

It has been 17 days past my IUI procedure and 2 days past since I started spotting and bleeding.. Today the bleeding seem to get heavier and steadier. Even though deep in my heart I am still hoping that this is not my monthly AF, but I guess the evidence tells otherwise. Apart from the weird flow of blood, I also has lost the soreness in my BBs and the cramping also has been almost nonexistence. I am crushed and down in the dumps.. Now I have to prepare myself for another round of trial and tribulation of IVF as the next step. Why is it so hard to get a baby? ( T T )

15 days past IUI..

It has been 15 days past my IUI procedure. I am now very worried because since last night some bleeding had occurred at around 7 pm. I tried to stay calm and just go about my daily routine but the fact that I bled is nagging in my head. I went to bed and woke up today and was relieved that there was no spotting. I went about my daily morning routine of ironing my work clothes and stepped into the bathroom to shower and found that there was some bleeding! Aaaaaa! I am panicking BIG TIME!

After trying to psych myself (without any success) I got ready for work with protection that women uses monthly just in case the ugly AF decided to show up (and dreading it all the way). I haven't missed taking my daily dosage of Folic Acid and my Duphaston at 8.00 am and 8.00 pm everyday (with occasional time lapse now and then that is, but still diligently everyday).

At about 9.30 am here at the office, I went to the loo and found that there was no spotting but only a little bit of a pinkish stain. I am now a bit confused and scared. Is it implantation spotting or is it the early signs of AF showing up? I called up my sister and she told me to take it easy, breathe and not to stress myself out (a hard thing to do in my case). She told me that when she had her first baby, she did bleed also but in a red jelly-like form. That had got me worried to because my bleeding is not jelly-like. It's like the early arrival of AF or the end of it. I really really really hope that this is not the case of AF for me. ( T T )

Up until today my cramping has lessened and the soreness in my BBs are still there but not quite as strong as the first week post IUI. I don't feel as bloated as the first week as well. Apart from occasional headaches and the spotting, I really feel fine. I do hope that the lack of symptoms does not lead to bad news for me. Please pray for me to get a BFP this time..

14 days past IUI..

It has been 14 days past my IUI procedure. I am now in my 2nd week of the dreaded 2 Weeks Waiting period. For the 1st week, I had experienced some mild cramping and sore BBs. This week it has been almost the same but I felt the cramping is intermittent and the soreness has lessened. Now this got me really worried because from what I've read, most women with cramping and sore BBs usually end up with big fat positive signs when they do their HPT. Lately, however, I did experience tiredness, felt slightly bloated and had a slight back pain. I am getting most of the usual symptoms when I am near the time AF comes but I hope these are all the signs that lead to a BFP this time!

The pull to do the HPT is VERY strong! I practically have to tell myself over and over again that it's too early. I hope my will power will prevail and help me not get sucked into the pee-on-a-stick rampage!

Anyway, baby dust, please come my way! ( ^-^ )